Next steps

This is the energy I thought I’d have when both children were in nursery.

We’re going on holiday (without the children) when baby D was supposed to start nursery, so we were advised to start her early. I cried watching her go without a second glance and headed straight home to start busying myself. I’ve gone on about making time, getting things done, when all I really want right now is to slow it all down. Hopefully, won’t be feeling like a spare part tomorrow. It’s such conflicting feelings, wasn’t expecting that. I mean, 2020 changed many things in all our lives and from that period onwards I personally began living in the future and not the present. 2020 the year D was born, I only now realise that I was existing in a state of aniexty, a very blurry time and although securely locked down within our four walls, an intense period of navigating the complexity of the fourth trimester also with a one year old. So to fast forward and to be waving both children into nursery, creating time, that separation from one another, feels like a relief and all too unfamilar at the same time. I definitely feel like that period of life needs greater focus, a debrief in particualr for new mothers of that time. But for now, I guess being present is key to welcome in this  new milestone...